Showing posts with label funny stories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny stories. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Sibling Interview-David

I love laughing, and most of my laughs in life come from my siblings.  So I decided, to interview David, my 4-year-old brother.  These are the questions I asked and these are his exact answers, word for word.
What's Your Name? "ummm um David"
What Do You Like Doing? "Umm, Play in the mud and get all dirty"
What's Your Favorite Color? "um Blue"
Who's Your Best Friends? "Austin", (his friend in Michigan)
If You Could Have Any Animal For a Pet What Would It be? "A pet dragon that is orange I mean blue blue blue dragon"
If You Could Go Anywhere On Vacation, Where Would It be? "right in the mud"
How Old Are You?  "4"
What's Your Favorite Food? "acorn cheese,  Wait no, macaroni and cheese I don't eat acorn cheese" (lol I don't know what acorn cheese is lol)
What's Your Favorite Ice Cream Flavor? "umm black, No, ummm chocolate"
Would You Ever Go Skydiving? "YEAH!  I'm a big boy so that's why i can go IN IN ummm skydiving"
Do You Like to Cook? "yeah"
What's Your Favorite Song? "I love Jesus,  .....I mean Captain America song!!!!! you know super hero song."  Then our friend Jessica said "What does a super hero song sound like?"  Then David got up and jumped around and made explosion noises, I guess that's what a super hero song sounds like.
Who's Your Favorite Sister? "Laura"

Oh, I love him, he's soo cute! And By the way, I did not tell him to say I was his favorite sister.



Friday, May 18, 2012

My Entry for Kathryn's Writing Challenge


OK So this is my entry for Kathryn’s writing contest.  It is life from my dog's prospective.  All the things in this story are things that my dog actually does, so that makes this even funnier. If you've ever read the series Hank the Cowdog, this is kinda my spin on the series.
And  If you're wondering, the thoughts are italicized.

     I lay sprawled out in the middle of the gravel drive-way, letting the hot sun warm up my black fur.  Soon I heard the sound of gravel popping.   
     An INTRUDER!!!!  I sprinted down the long driveway as fast as I could, and started barking a warning. 
“INTRUDERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR IN IN IN INTRUDERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR” I barked. 
    Oops I thought to myself it’s the people.
     “It’s OK Rayne (yeah our other dog's name is Rayne, and it's pronounced Rain, just so you know ;) ).” I barked at my deputy, “It’s just the people. Switch barking to welcome mode” 
     You see I was the unofficial sheriff of the Bradford family home, and any property surrounding it for 100 miles.  The people I referred to were the Bradford family.  Rayne was the Bradford’s other dog, she was no where near as fast, or brave or as smart as me, but I let her tag along and help with the small things in security work.
      We stood by and let the people pass through, we continued our happy barking and gave the “people” a warm welcome as we ran along side their strange moving animal which they called a "car".  Now let me stop and explain this to ya ‘cause it could be confusing.  Now everybody that comes to, I mean that I let into the Bradford property has one of these “Cars.”  As far as I can figure they are a special type of pack livestock.  A species trained to serve humans and bring them wherever they want.  My question is, why don’t I get a car?   I mean being the Sheriff is mighty important work and running around 25 acres can be very tiring. A car would be very efficient.  Well, it’s probably better that I don’t have a car, can’t stand the things.  I mean no matter how much I bark at it, it always stays and parks its self right in front of the house.  I always go over and talk to it, and ask it to at least move itself to the barn.
     I rolled my eyes, stupid arrogant beasts, the things I put up with in this job.
     I trotted next to the car, and I couldn’t tell for sure, but I think it glared at me.  The only thing that kept me from showing that car who’s boss, was the fact that the people were inside.  As usual the car stopped itself went in front of the house and let the people out, who went right into the house.
Humph! I thought, don’t even bother to pay respect to the dog the works 24/7 to keep you safe.  You know I bet you wouldn’t even last a day without me here watchin’ over you.  All you ever…ohhh that feels good.
   Laura, one of my favorite humans, walked over and began to stroke my head.
     “Good girl Wyndy (pronounced Windy).  Who’s a good girl!” She said in an adoring voice.  
    I laid down on my back, enjoying the rewards of  my hard work as Laura continued to stroke me.  Before long, Rayne ran over to Laura, her jealousy so apparent.
    “Pet me, Pet me pleaaaaasssssssse” she whimpered, weaving herself in and out of her legs.
     Laura began to pet her, normally I would have made her leave right then and there. After all I was the one who deserved the petting, but Rayne tried so hard to be helpful I thought I’d let her have a reward just this once.   Besides I was to comfortable laying in the soft grass anyway. 
     Ohh this is a good life. I thought staring up at the azure blue sky.

Hope you liked it!!!!! (and sorry it is a little over 500)  Here is a pic of my dog!
It's not a good picture, lol I took this when I was 10. =P



 

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Jostie Flicks

Hi everyone!!!   I don't have time for a really long post today, So I thought I'd make it short but sweet. =)   Ok, so Jostie Flicks is a big homeschooled family that lives in Canada.  They produce and post hilarious short videos on youtube.  They are always clean and REALLY funny!  The video below is one of my favorites.

  
God Bless!!!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Most Memorable and Funny Quotes

I love to laugh, so here are some of my favorite quotes, from some of my favorites shows.

The Muppet Show!

Miss Piggy:  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.

 Adventures in Odyssey

Bernard Walton: In your case, Eugene, singing and tragedy go well together.
Bernard Walton: I'm not against what other people think! I mean, it's not my fault they're wrong!





 Bart Rathbone: Well, happy greetings everyone! What a beautiful day it is, ain’t it?
Connie Kendall: Well, it used to be.

Alex Jefferson: Connie and Mitch, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-
Connie Kendall: We were just gonna talk.
Alex Jefferson: Connie and Mitch, sitting in a tree, t-a-l-k-i-n-g
Connie Kendall: We're not in a tree.
Alex Jefferson: Connie and Mitch, sitting in a booth
John Whittaker: I think you'd better stop now
Alex Jefferson: Just practicing our spelling. S-p-l-l, I mean, s-p-i-

 Eugene: Roger.
John Whittaker: Eugene, since when do you say the word "roger"?
Eugene: Since Jason objected to my using the word "confirmatory"

John Whittaker: I'm John Avery Whittaker, but my friends call me Whit.
Guinevere Morrow: I Guinivere Morrow, my friends call me Jenny, you can call me Guinevere.

via
                                                                          

Hope you enjoyed!
God Bless!!!


Sunday, April 15, 2012

Flying Kitten

OK, before our guest pastor started the sermon this morning in church, he told this story.  When he finished, the entire church was roaring with laughter. =)
so without further ado, I give you the story:

Power of Prayer (the flying kitten part will  make sense later I promise).

One day a pastor discovered that his kitten had climbed up a tree and was too afraid to climb back down.  He tried to coax the kitten, down from the tree with cream, and he tried to climb up into the tree and retrieve the kitten, but to no avail.  Finally, he thought that if  he tied a rope to his car, and then tied the other end to the tree, that he might be able to bend the tree far enough down, so that he could reach the kitten.  After both ends of the rope were tied, he got into his car and started to slowly drive forward, bending the tree down inch by inch.  Just when the tree was at the height that he could reach the kitten, the rope snapped, the whipped back, and the poor kitten went sailing through the air, and out of sight.  Feeling bad for the kitten, he searched the neighborhood fervently, and asked some of the neighbors if they had seen a small kitten go sailing by, but the kitten was no where to be found.  After praying for the kitten's well being, he went back to business as usual.  A few days later, when the pastor was at the grocery store, he saw one of the members of his church who was also one of his neighbors.  He watched in perplexity as she put a bag of cat food into her shopping cart, because everybody knew that she HATED cats.   Confused, he asked her why she was buying cat food.
I do not own this image
     She replied "Pastor, you're never going to believe what happened.  My six-year-old daughter has been begging me for a cat, and every time she asks me, I say no.  Well, a few days ago, my daughter asked me again if we could get a kitten, this time I told her that we could only get a kitten, if God gave us one.  After I said this to my daughter, she went out into the driveway, got down on her knees, and began to fervently pray for a kitten from God.  I was watching her from the living room window.  And, your just never going to believe this pastor, but I saw it with my own eyes.  Flying down from the heavens came a kitten with his paws outstretched and landed it in my daughters arms.  So, I really couldn't protest when my daughter asked if she could keep it."

God Bless!  Hope you enjoyed the story.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Exploding Hairspray.

Yes, I did say exploding hairspray.  Last night as I was getting my little brother, David, ready for bed, and he was acting really silly.  This was most likely caused by the massive amount of sugar he had, and because, being a little boy, he just has a massive amount of energy.  So, I was trying to brush his teeth, and he started playing around.  Before I knew it, he had grabbed our big bottle of hairspray, threw it up in the air and tried to catch it.  Unfortunately, he didn't catch it, and the hairspray landed on the floor.  The force of the fall mad the nozzle of the bottle burst off, as hairspray starts flying everywhere.  At this point I grabbed the hairspray and stuck my finger over the top of the can in an attempt to make it stop spraying.  Then I ran outside, removed my finger from the can, and hairspray just blasts in a thick stream all over the place.  This is were it got fun though, I had no idea how entertaining hairspray could be until that moment.  My sister and I probably spent 30 minuets outside playing with the can of hairspray.  We pretty much covered our driveway with hairspray (ok, that's probably an exaggeration, because our driveway is really long.)  Finally, after the can ran out of pressure, I had to come inside and clean up the hairspray that got on the bathroom floor.  That part wasn't as fun, but somebody had to do it. =P

Here is a picture of the little culprit who threw the can in the first place.


God Bless!!!